Clash of the Empires – Movie 135 of 365

For the record I watched this movie under duress.  HB has a thing for schlocky movies when he needs to relax and admittedly I do to.  However, there is schlocky and there is just plain bad.  The stars of this feature still didn’t give me much hope although it did have Christopher Judge, but then there was Bai Ling.  So is this movie really bad?  Well if you are familiar with the show Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and can employ their movie viewing technique, it’s survivable.

I guess you want to know what it’s about.  Clash of the Empires aka The Age of Hobbits aka Lord of the Elves, is about this village of peace loving hobbits (yes that’s what Asylum called them). They are portrayed by asian children and dwarfs, little people, whatever the correct term is (seriously I want to know).  They are badly dubbed and have horrendously stilted dialogue.  One day the village is invaded by the Java Men, who fly in on badly looped animated dragon-like creatures.  The Java Men capture and spirit away most of the villagers it seems including Goben’s (Sun Korng) mother who is the the village healer.  Goben along with his father and younger sister embark on a quest to rescue their loved one and the rest of the villagers.

Along the way they encounter the tribe of Giants (human hunters) that include Amthar (Judge) and Laylan (Ling).  The leader of the groups forbids his people to offer assistance not wanting to disturb the uneasy peace that his village has with the Java Men.  But after Goben proves that with his inventions the “hobbits” can handle themselves and with a little dramatic arguing provided by Judge he agrees to allow a small band to accompany them on their journey.

Okay I guess it’s not so bad if you are looking for a Saturday afternoon time killer.  There is a lot that can be read into some of the dialogue and the relationships between the Giants and the hobbits.  The warring tribe is so over the top as well as some of the villagers.  That and some Land of the Lost type creatures weren’t too bad.  Not that I would watch this again but I don’t want all of my 87 minutes back so that’s good, right?