I love music; and along with movie, book, and TV quotes there is probably a soundtrack that accompanies pretty much anything I go through in life. As I mentioned before I suffer from depression. There is music I listen to when I’m depressed as well as music I listen to when I’m ready to try and climb out of the pit. Yes, there is a lot of morose music in that soundtrack, but as probably anyone that experiences depression will tell you, it’s not all about sadness. Sometimes it’s about anger.
When my depression is triggered by a specific event there is usually a lot of anger bubbling under the surface. For once I can lash out as something other than near mythical brain chemicals for my pain. My soundtrack for that has some definite standards; Bullet with Butterfly Wings by Smashing Pumpkins, Dragula by Rob Zombie, Violet by Hole, and today’s theme song, It’s My Life by No Doubt.
Now It’s My Life is sort of a bridge song in the depression soundtrack. It’s not as angry as the rest and the original version of the song by Talk Talk doesn’t elicit the same response as when Gwen Stefani sings it. It’s about the struggle for restoration of control. At least that’s how I feel the song.
Oh, it’s my life
Don’t you forget
One of the things that is the quickest to piss me off is when people try to run and control my life. Make me be something I’m not, shove me into a mold that I don’t fit. When I can’t fight back or when it feels that all I’m doing is fighting back it triggers my depression. I’m not anti-leadership, actually I can be very loyal, but you earn that loyalty. Don’t mistake my delicate nature for weakness damnit or there will hell to pay! Erm um *clears throat* back to the song lyrics.
And I’ve asked myself
How much do you
Sometimes, if I’m honest, it’s my fault. On the surface it’s easier to be a sheep than to step out and be yourself. On the surface, but below you pay in spades. No one can keep you from being yourself but you. I repeat No one can keep you from being yourself but you. “But… but…” you say. “I’m a corporate cog; I have to wear the corporate drag.” I say, “What happens after 5pm is your business.” You reply, “But what if I run into my boss outside of work in full fetish gear?” I would say take your chances. Or if you can’t afford to risk your job I would say, your boss doesn’t live in your bedroom or your house do they? The important thing is you got to be yourself, even if it’s for a few minutes each day or you might as well be dead. I don’t care if you are under scrutiny 24/7, you still have your brain and if all you can do is fantasize about being yourself, DO IT.
It’s my (and your) life
Don’t you forget
I’ve included both versions of the song because Mark Hollis’ (Talk Talk) voice is beautiful and this is a rare case where the original and the remake are both excellent.