Never changing who I am

14 Apr

Today has a theme song, It’s Time by Imagine Dragons.  Eight months (eight months and four days to be exact) ago I was emotionally near rock bottom.  I was sick with fever, pain, and infection.  I was waiting to figure out if what I had was bacterial in nature or something more serious like staph.  Hopped up on Hydrocodone I walked into my place of employment to get laid off for the second time in a little over a year.  Once again it wasn’t because of anything I did.  Believe me medicated is the way to go if you have to clean out your desk and do the walk of shame out the building.

Luckily the infection turned out to not be staph, unluckily the company I worked for closed down about a month later.  No chance for hire and fire number three.  This meant looking for a job again.  I hate finding a new job for many reasons but mostly because once again I have to pretend to be someone I’m not.  There is so many reports about being careful what you put on facebook, twitter, etc. because apparently it doesn’t matter if you are the most qualified for the job but what you do with your life in the hours they are not paying you.

I was never was really myself at work anyway.  After almost four years I had started to share bits and small pieces, sometimes still I’d completely lie.  It must be nice to just be able to tell someone about your weekend without having to consciously select every word you are going to say before saying  it.  For this and other reasons I once again I decided that this time I was actually make a go of freelancing while simultaneously trying to find more stable employment.  I find clients a little less concerned about my personal life and don’t go researching you on the internet.

I’m more of a tortoise than a hare so of course the freelance gigs didn’t just start rolling in.  Plus I got distracted with writing.  Shortly before getting let go from my job I had rediscovered writing.  Fan Fiction wasn’t going to pay the bills but it’s kept me sane more than once and gave me the bravery to branch out.  In November I wrote a 50,000+ word fiction novel (I’m still editing).  In December I started doing freelance tv show and movie reviews.  It gave me the bravery to challenge myself to watch a movie a day.  Then with adding some other ideas lead to the creation of this blog.

Now while all this was happening the design part has been limping along.  In November I got my first Fiverr gig. This month I’ve become a Level 1 seller.  Also as of this month I have done enough other freelance work since I was let go that I need to use both hands to count.  I watched my 100th new to me movie on April 10th and my blog now has had over 700 views.  No I’m not rolling in dough but I feel that things are finally truly starting for me.  And the best thing, I’m still who I am.  Second best thing, not having to tap dance over the dreaded so what did you do this weekend.

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Posted by on April 14, 2013 in introspective, Videos


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