So why do you want to see the new G. I. Joe movie? Action? There is a lot of that, both hand to hand and weaponized. Good looking actors? Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Byung-Hun Lee, Adrianne Palicki, etc. got that covered. Interesting tech? One word, fireflies, you’ll understand that later. A plot that makes sense, without gaping plot holes and what the hell moments? Um, let me get back to you on that.
I went into G. I. Joe: Retaliation with low expectations, I went to see action and eye candy. I wasn’t disappointed. Now the plot, well if I paid attention too much it began to bug me a lot. The plot without giving too much away, basically the Joes get screwed over royally but they are also the only ones that can save the world from a threat by COBRA. A threat the world won’t recognize until it’s too late. There is also a subplot involving Snake Eyes, continuing from the first movie. It would’ve been interesting if they hadn’t cast RZA in the role of Blind Master. Now I’ve got nothing against RZA, who I loved in The Man with the Iron Fists or non-traditional casting. However, he just distracted me away from the subplot and didn’t make it feel nearly as serious as it should’ve been. It was a clunky subplot at best and that wasn’t all RZA’s fault.
The last thing that truly bugged me was what I like to call plot-device of the moment. It’s when the actor suddenly possesses or has access to something there is no good reason they should have. A quick example main character is homeless, destitute living on the street. They need to get across town immediately to do whatever major plot point. Suddenly they are getting on a top of the line motorcycle and zipping through town. You don’t see them steal it or borrow it, they just pull out a set of keys start the ignition and go.
That doesn’t happen in this movie, but there are plenty of other things that inexplicably show up at the right time. Really high tech things that the Joes shouldn’t have access for various reasons. If it happens once I ignore it, but it happened enough that it started to get on my nerves. Maybe there was a lot of film left on the cutting room floor that would explain things, somehow I doubt it.
So if you ignore those things I like it. Favorite parts involved just about anytime Firefly is on screen. Yeah he’s a villain but he is also played by the very talented Ray Stephenson who is one of the few people who breathes any life into their character. One of my other favorite parts is the bromance between Duke (Tatum) and Roadblock (Johnson). It felt real whenever they were interacting. I wish their on-screen chemistry had translated to the other characters because I think what was missing most from this movie was heart.
See it for the action, the tech, and the eye candy and you won’t be too disappointed.